Did you see it coming?

Do you celebrate Black Valentine's Day? You know, where we get all snarky about love and roses and hearts and complain that Valentine's Day is a torture device of the greeting card company? To be fair, I'm not really snarky about love - how could I be, I got flowers today from The Boy! 

But I am snarky about celebrities, and their ridiculous, epic love lives.

Take, for example, Seal and Heidi Klum. They just broke up. Did you see it coming?

The former lovebirds, from here.

Honestly, they were one of the most annoyingly saccharine couples in recent memory. They smooched on the red carpet. They spouted love advice to anyone who would listen. They renewed their vows every. damn. anniversary. It was A LOT....of love. So I was a little surprised to hear that they had broken up after seven years of marriage. Yes, they were annoying and engaged in some grossly cutesy PDA. But didn't you kind of want their wacky marriage to work?

It seems like every day there's a new notice of a celebrity breakup. I always feel let down by good celebrity couples gone bad (or bust).



And this constant disappointment sometimes makes me a bit panicky about marriage in general. It seems like everyone is breaking up these days, right? Now, I don't ascribe to the "if it happens to JLO it can happen to me" mantra, but when it comes to things you might have in common with a celebrity, divorce ranks just a little under breathing oxygen and having hair. 

But let's remember a few facts: Celebrities get divorced at a staggering rate of 70-80%. Normal humans are closer to the 50% mark.

Many, many celebrities fit the characteristics of a narcissistic personality profile. Narcissists face some very real challenges when it comes to initiating and persisting in committed relationships.  

                                                                                                 AND even if they're not certified narcissists (or addicts or megalomaniacs...), celebrities are used to getting their way - period. The compromises necessary in a long-term relationship just might prove too hard - or distasteful. Add to the mix constant media pressure, being surrounded by other gorgeous celebrities at "work," and a job that takes you away from home for the majority of the year and you get a pretty wicked marriage cocktail. No wonder celebrities are praised for making it to their 5-year anniversary. 

(BTW all of these breakups floored me. Sure, Jesse seemed like a bad guy but he was all reformed by love. And the other two - Jess and Nick and Christina and that hairy guy seemed so in love.  Tears, y'all. pics via google.)

So as much as Us Weekly tries to tell us that celebrities are just like us -- now we know. When it comes to love and relationships they're not. And while they have millions of dollars, and Loubutins and babies named after fruits and colors, we have at least a 20% greater chance of staying married. And that's not nothin'.

 So Happy Valentine's day, lovers!

 I think we have a real shot at it 

(especially A & L, congrats you two!!)

(Edit: Sorry all, this was meant to go live yesterday ... but Blogger hates me. Enjoy a twofer today!)