Should I Say It?

Happy Valentines Day! 

A bit early I know, but I thought I would share for one of two reasons:

1. You're so excited about tomorrow that getting a little early enthusiasm will just add to your pleasure.

2. You so hate Valentines day that one more blog post about the day could put you over the edge. So it's a good thing we're getting it out of the way early.

In all honesty, the day isn't a huge deal for me. Which I find really ironic, since - as a long suffering singleton all through middle school, high school, and college - I DREAMED about how awesome Valentine's Day would be with a beau. So now that I have one? Meh. I'm not overly impassioned by the day. 

But regardless, I do enjoy soaking up some of the romance that fills the air alongside the red and pink hear shaped confetti. 

Like this article, below. Did you see it already? If not, have a tissue handy.

from here

How about these great postsecret postcards?

So now, with that inspiration, what are you going to do for your valentine? Truth be told - we're celebrating tonight. We met on Friday 13th, so celebrating on the 13th is kind of habit back from the "OMG IT'S OUR 4 MONTH ANNIVERSARY!!!!" stage. But a nice card and gift tomorrow may be in the works. I like these graphic diy ideas, from for a song.

And, if even after all this inspiration, you still despise Valentine's day consider this - Vinegar Valentines.

here

Popular in Victorian times, these nasty notes were sent to deter possible Valentines - by mocking them for unpleasant characteristics. Even worse? At that time, the recipient paid the 1 cent postage fee, not the sender. Pretty sour, huh?

here

So what will you be this Valentine's day? Mushy or Mean? Either way - eat some chocolate!!

xo,

E.

Single Girl

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Do you have single-girl/boy behavior?
Matt's been away all week and I definitely displayed mine:

Piles of (bridal) magazines read while eating microwave dinners on the couch? Check!
Fizzy BRAVO tv enjoyed ? Check!
Inordinate time spent in pajamas? Check!
Calling parents because of scary noises outside?...and...Check!

I even busted out my crafting skills, at the suggestion of my brilliant mother. I spent a delicious hour or two in Hobby Lobby and made something I saw on Pinterest - how girl-time is that?!

But truth be told, I'm ready for single-girl time to end and Matt to come home. Dinner tastes better at the table, bridal magazines kinda stress me out, and he's way funnier than any Bravo home-decorator (oh, Martyn!). So does absence really make the heart grow fonder, or what?

This Bonnie's Clyde...

Not sure if that's a history reference or a Beyonce reference? Don't worry, neither am I. But what I do know is that the point of all this is to celebrate my partner in crime, Matt, on his 25th BIRTHDAY!

Living with him for the past 3 months, I've gotten to know SO much more about him. And the good news? I still like him -a lot. Enough to embark on the craziness of planning a wedding with him ... oh, and to share the rest of my life with him, too.

So, in honor of this special day, I'm gonna shout to the hills a few (internet friendly) things I love about this man:

• He does laundry like a pro. I was worried, moving in, that I'd turn into the little woman. But Matt shares the load (when he's not taking on more than his fair share). Cannot complain.
• He's incredibly hard working, which is such a great quality. But even better is his ability to put work aside and focus on the really important things (like me!) He has so much to juggle, but he does it really well and I appreciate it so much.
• He makes me laugh ... mostly with this face:

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• He comes with baggage - but the good kind. Matt's had a lot of interesting life experiences, he knows a ton about so many things I've never heard off, and he has pretty good taste in Zombie entertainment. Plus, he brings an awesome family and some super cool friends to the mix, so I pretty much hit the jackpot with him.
• He loves me real good - and even loves the crazy. That's hard to find.
• Oh, and he's pretty darn cute, too ;)

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Love you babe! And happy birthday!!

Anything for Love

***Before you read this post, I suggest you switch your Pandora station to Meatloaf and crank "I Would Do Anything For Love." Now continue reading...

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While many of us have been focused on the right to marry here in the U.S. since President Obama made his landmark remarks in support of gay marriage, a group of Indians having been fighting age-old prejudice and cultural mores to help young people marry for love in their country. Despite rapid modernization in the country, arranged marriages are still the prevalent form of marriage in India. Furthermore, traditional families will only consider individuals from similar castes, or class groups that share traditions, economic status and even dialect, as potential spouses for their children.
I have mixed feelings about arranged marriage - I've known people who've had successful and unsuccessful arranged marriages - as well as successful and unsuccessful love marriages. I do believe there is something to be said for the wisdom of parents and grandparents choosing a mate based on compatibility that allows for passion to grow later on. In some ways, it's a beautiful tradition that has been corrupted by reality: not every family can find a good or kind partner for their child and not every child is willing to sacrifice their choice of partner for their parents'.

In extreme cases, which are still disturbingly common, young adults - mostly women - who have committed to a relationship or marriage outside of their caste are murdered by family and community in an attempt to restore the family's honor. Knowing this, young people who want to marry for love may fear for their lives and seek assistance in convincing their parents to consent - or running away.

That's where the Love Commandos come in. As their website states, the three commandos - business men who aid both Muslin and Hindu youngsters- are "dedicated to helping India's lovebirds who want to marry for love."
Their cause is not easy, safe, or even cheap - operational costs are up to $5,000 a month to provide transportation, shelter and legal services to young couples. But they are committed to their cause - helping eradicate the bindings and social divisions of caste by supporting inter-caste marriage.
How about that, a happy news story!

here

For more info, check out this BBC article on the Commandos. Donations are accepted on the Love Commandos website.

Love

With Valentine's approaching, everyone is thinking about their crushes, boy/girl friends or spouses.

 But this year, my Valentine is going to be my mom.

Don't worry, I still love The Boy as much as ever --- but recent events have made me all the more aware how much I love my mom and how I would be absolutely lost without her, even though I daily realize how much of her is in me (the love of presentation, the slightly overbearing need to help, the talking to strangers in the supermarket...)

Mom always made Valentine's day special at our house growing up. Like most holidays, I'd get a themed pair of socks and other fun little gifts. Even though I never had a real (boy) Valentine, it was a fun day to celebrate with my family.

So now, bear with me as I write this -- my Valentine to my mom:

Mom, for-

Holding my hand when we rode home from school

Believing in the importance of celebrating

Telling me to loosen up and get a B

Teaching me to love clothes -- and a good bargain

Not laughing when that led to me buying suede platforms and wearing them in public

Being a bleeding-heart animal lover

Tucking me in long after it was normal

Showing me Paris, and a million other amazing places

Never sheltering me from the world, but teaching me how to deal with sorrow and injustice

Sharing that the cure for a hangover is Sprite and a cold pillow/floor

Giving me an out whenever I couldn't say "I don't want to do that" to my friends

Encouraging me to be a strong, independent woman

Listening to me endlessly evaluate the decisions I needed to make to become one

Reminding me that life isn't fair, but I should be

Mothering my friends and my boyfriend -- they love you so much!

Loving me, and Dad and the cat, hard, and fast and so strong it sometimes takes my breath away.

Thank you.

I love you.

* all pictures via Pinterest.

A shot of cute (with an adorable chaser)

I've pinned a lot of really, really cute things in the news lately. I think during the holidays, even the newsmakers get sick of their own fear-mongering and decide to get all ooeey-gooey instead. Please enjoy all of this adorableness.

1. Baby seal walks into a bar...

Article  here.

This sounds like the start of a really great joke. In fact, it's the start of a cute tale of a little baby seal who "walked" (I don't know how seals technically locomote on land) into a house, snuck through the cat door, and climbed up on the coach. The homeowner found him curled up on the couch, snug as a bug.

2. Man climbs mountains - of trash - for love

Article here.

This one is pretty sweet, and also a great education for men about what to do if you accidentally throw away your wife's engagement ring. Answer? Whatever it takes to find it. Even if that is digging through 9 tons of garbage at the city dump.

3. Dog's Best Friend

Article here.

Get ready for tears. The dog on the left is completely blind. The dog on the right acts, voluntarily, as her seeing eye dog, guiding her through life, day and night. Proof that animals are truly just as compassionate, if not more so, than humans.


xo, E.

A Quick Complaint...

What is this, 1942? From here.

 I know it's the season of hope, happiness and ho-ho-ho. But I have a complaint to make. And I'll just say it upfront so those of you not interested can just turn away- it's about sexism

... and well intentioned people who make carelessly sexist remarks.

Case in point: this conversation that happens to me with surprising regularity.

Me: something something something "my boyfriend" something something...

Other: Oooh, a boyfriend, eh? What does he do?

Me: He's getting a PhD in Engineering.

Other: OOOOOOoooooHHHHhhhh. You should totally marry him.

Me: ...............ok, thanks.
 Now to be honest, I normally giggle and play along. Because I get what they're saying. He's preparing for the type of career that is, in general, dependable and well-paying. And that's a nice quality to have in a husband. But when I get to thinking about it, saying that to people, and even worse, thinking it, is a terrible habit to be in. Here's why:

1.Yes, The Boy has a million and one qualities that make him ideal husband material - he's generous and kind, loyal, very funny, and pretty darn cute to boot. But misguided speaker above has no idea of that - he could just as easily be a stingy, mean, shifty, daft, ugly bloke. Who hits me. Or leaves toenail clippings around the apartment. Or hates cats. (Just to be clear, he does none of these). So I'm being encouraged to marry someone, for no other earthly reason than the fact that he may possibly have a well-paying job sometime in the future? Gee, why not just sell me down the road for a couple of goats and call it even?

Clearly... from here.

2. And what about me? Sure, my current job isn't anything fabulous but I do make enough to pay my own rent, bills, and buy Christmas gifts. For most people, that's doing extremely well - and I'm only 25, with a college degree and work experience, so the chances of my lot improving are good. So what do I need to marry him for? Companionship, love, sure. But economics? Mmmm, not really. 

3. What about him? If I were a modern, caring, sensible guy I'd be a little peeved to hear people tell my girlfriend to marry me, based solely on my future career prospects. Don't guys deserve to be loved for their good qualities, just as much as girls deserve to marry for love? I think that's pretty much the basis for equality between the sexes, when it comes down to it.

I don't normally go off on feminist rantings on a day to day basis. In general, I'm pretty optimistic about gender equality.  But as any romcom can tell you, marrying for money is not a good idea. And encouraging young women to do so, and in turn devaluing their own economic and social worth, is hazardous not only to them, but to society as a whole.

So people, I'll leave you with the immortal wisdom of Destiny's Child: Independent Women

Rock on, sisters!

10 Things to Remember about Long Distance Love

I've been in a wonderful relationship for over 1 year now (ok, ok, fifteen months last Sunday), and I think we'd both agree that our only real complaint is the distance (physically) between us.

138 miles to be exact.

This might sound like a haul, but since the beginning, we've been good about seeing each other almost every weekend, which makes us pretty lucky in the LDR (long distance relationship) department.

 

Via Pinterest

So from my experience, here's a little list of things I've learned about LDRs:

10. Everyone is boring on the phone. This is not a reflection of your relationship (or your personality.) Try doing different things during your talks. We've been playing Scrabble. And in case you're wondering,
 I beat his ass. Owned.

9. Emotions, sarcasm and humor don't always translate to the phone/skype. Be direct about what you're saying/thinking/feeling... or things may get uggggly. Virtual fights are the worst because you can't kiss and make up when you're done. Sometimes they can't be avoided, but when possible, save the heavy discussions for in person. And just so you know, guys, flower deliveries = a great way to say "sorry."

8. Don't set crazy expectations for your time together. It may be short, but don't try to plan every detail or get too ambitious with your plans. I have a hard time with this--I get so excited that I end up panicked about making sure we have a perfect weekend. Just enjoy the fact that you're together and let go of the rest.

Via Pinterest.

7. The little things count more than anything. Getting something in the mail, the midday text, or even a call at not "the usual time" reminds your partner that you're thinking about them - even when you're apart.

6. Skype is a godsend for couples (and family and friends) separated by distance. Bask in the joy of seeing each other's face for a change and upgrade to the high-speed internet!

5. When you look back at this time years down the road, you (and your grand kids) will marvel at how incredibly romantic it was that you drove/flew/swam all that way to see your love for just one weekend. Basically, you're romantic heroes. Enjoy that.

4. Anticipation. The Boy sings this song called "Anticipation" every time we talk about looking forward to the weekends (note: I'm not sure I believe that it's a real song and not something he just made up.) All I know is my week goes like this. Sunday: He leaves. Monday: I'm depressed and sad. Tuesday-Wednesday-Thursday-Friday: I'm eagerly anticipating a fabulous weekend with my man.  And on top of that, we also get to look forward to the day when we finally live in the same zip code-and can stop making that GD drive every week!

3. Put things in perspective. So what if skype-ing or traveling back and forth gets in the way of doing the dishes, learning Chinese, and saving for your 501k? Seeing that face (virtually or in person) and preserving your relationship is way more important in the long run.

2. Value your independence. Don't see your better half most of the week/month/year? That's an opportunity to strengthen relationships with friends and families, try a new hobby (trivia team anyone?), and enjoy some quiet alone time. Pining is never sexy.



From here via Pinterest

1. Nothing, nothing compares to stepping out of the car/train/rain and into your beloved's arms. It is without a doubt the most exhilarating and comforting feeling in the world.
Savor those moments.

Anyone else out there in a LDR? Or even a just an R? Share your tips - Lord knows, we all need them!

Morbid Matrimony

The title, and ok the pictures and some of the content, of this post might seem a bit dark, but hey, it's still Halloween week! And at the heart, these stories are really about something very sweet- love that keeps two people together for their whole lives, and even beyond.

Really, this post is half Halloween, half Valentine's Day. So take your pick.

Gordon and Norma Yeager, image from here.

You may have recently heard of the Yeagers, an elderly couple who died this October in Iowa. At 90 and 94, Norma and Gordon had been married for 72 years, which in itself deserves to be headline news. After a car accident, the couple was taken to the emergency room where the prognosis was grim. When nothing more could be done to address their injuries, Norma and Gordon were placed in a room where they could lay side by side, and hold hands.

According to ABC News: "Gordon Yeager died at 3:38 p.m. He was no longer breathing, but the family was surprised by what his monitor showed. 'Someone in there said, 'Why, then, when we look at the monitor is the heart still beating?'" Sheets recalled. "The nurse said Dad was picking up Mom's heartbeat through Mom's hand.'"

Kind of freaky-beautiful, isn't it? Seems like something Tim Burton could make in to a creepy yet heartwarming film.

And just today, I read about this lovely couple.

Roman couple, from here.

The couple, believed to be farmers from North Italy, were buried sometime between the 5th and 6th century. Not only were the two Romans buried holding hands, but they were also placed with their faces turned to gaze at each other (archaeologists believe the man's head (on the left)

shifted after burial).

What makes these two exceptional stories so wonderful is how mundane they really are. How many couples can each of us identify who, despite their squabbles, would really love to spend eternity holding hands? What these two couples illustrate, to me, is how even though everything else may change, the best parts of humans - our love for one an other - endures the millenia. Awwww.

Love ya!